Structuring Family Activities!

Do you have a system that works for your family activities? We have an idea to share that introduces spontaneity and unpredictability, yet reduces arguing and complaints! We call it jar activity...

Take a second to ask yourself, “what’s your favorite thing to do with your family?”

How did you approach the question? There’s no wrong answer - you might be thinking about recurring family game nights, or something less frequent like an annual family tradition.

Now, take a few more seconds and consider how your kids would answer that same question. Don’t be afraid to ask them in real life, but really think about it first. Not to test how well you know your kids, but to simply reflect on their likes and dislikes. Could their favorite thing to do with family possibly be the same as your favorite thing? Or, consider if they even like your favorite thing to do at all…

Remember, no wrong answers. In my family, we all like a lot of things. We can also get very particular. Particular about the rules. Particular about who starts. Particular whether it’s a thing we like, and especially particular if we dislike it.

Do those feelings or experiences resonate? Why can’t we all just get along? If one kid is happy and content, then the other is in shambles. When it comes to choosing a family activity, I’d like to share an approach that, for us, quickly became a family favorite for everyone. A format that eliminates the standard process of choosing. No more arguing. No more complaining. No more dreading, “again…you want to play that same thing again?”

We started this approach roughly 5 years ago after struggling with a 2-3 year old who only wanted to play Paw Patrol, and a 5-6 year old who would default to watching too many shows. We were exploring different strategies, and this is what stuck around for the long haul.

We call it Jar Activity.

Here’s why, and how:

We place paper slips in a jar. Each slip contains a family activity. These are all pre-approved, and agreed upon. We have a magnet for each kid on the fridge (with their letter initial). The magnet signals whose turn it is to pull from the jar. This has proven to be key to help lessen the arguments of who pulled last time, or the pressure to remember.

When it is their turn to “choose” I’ll start with an announcement, “First things first!” The kids will respond emphatically, “Change the letter!!”

One kid chooses an activity from the jar - blindly. Picking a folded, rolled up paper slip from the jar, full of surprise - with a hint of hopes and dreams tied to their pull. Regardless of the result, cheers abound, except the occasional groan with an “I wish it was…” comment. But ultimately, everyone complies and we proceed to engage in the family activity.

As the kids age, these paper slips have evolved. As calendars get full, our jar activity frequency comes and goes in seasons. But regardless where we’re at, if someone is having big feelings, we’ll suggest “tonight should be a jar activity night.” And that has had a way of getting the kids excited, regardless of age. Many times, the kids will ask for a jar activity night.

We have a second jar, where pulled paper slips go into so they don’t get pulled repeatedly. This way we maintain a variety of activities and don’t get burned out by doing the same thing over and over. (there is hope; we survived the Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol repetitions, too).

What’s in our jar?

First, I’ll preface by sharing that we reserve some activities pretty much solely for the jar - some toys are too hard to set up and tear down, so they can be a special, anticipated paper slip to pull. Other listed activities are more regularly utilized activities that are also initiated outside of the official jar activities.

Nerf Battle
Wind-up Toy Race
Slot Car Race Track
Trick Shots
Puzzle Night
Board Games
Card Games
Projector Movie Night
Puppet Show
Paint by Number
Family Workout
Obstacle Course Time Trials
Marble Run

We’ve had to retire some really great activities because the kids have become too big. Such as the Roller Coaster Simulation and Hammock Swing - swinging a kid in a blanket then tossing them onto a bed.

So, what are your favorite family activities? We’re always looking for new ideas to add into our jar. Do you have a different system of implementing a diverse array of everyone’s requested activities?

Journey on…conversate.